007: Meet Rachel and Hear How the Program Changed Her Life
In this episode I interview Rachel who took the Working Mom Happiness Method with me in early 2021, and it changed her life in many ways.
She'll share how the program helped her let go of diet culture and improve her relationship with food, which resulted in a side effect of her losing 60lbs. She'll also cover how the program led her to a significant promotion and pay increase at work, and improved her relationship with her husband!
The next round of The Working Mom Happiness Method group coaching program is open for enrollment, and it kicks off on March 2nd! There are 10 spots available, and it will change your life!
Learn more about The Working Mom Happiness Method course here!
To join The Working Mom Happiness Method Facebook group click here.
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Katy
Hi, my name is Katy Blommer and my passion is helping women learn how to put themselves first, I learned all the tools for success on my own 12 year journey that has led me to finally figuring out how to live my best life. My journey included overcoming body image issues, and yo yo dieting, climbing the corporate ladder to a multiple six figure career, navigating mom guilt through a 60 hour workweek turning around marriage issues and much more. Now, I'm truly living my best life. And I've pretty much become obsessed with teaching others my tried and true methods for creating balance, maintaining healthy habits, improving your relationship, career development, and how to stop tying your value and worth, to the way you look and how you serve others. I'm so passionate about helping others learn this, that I created the working mom happiness method to help you get there too. So if you're ready to learn how to live your best life, pull up a chair or put on your walking shoes and get ready to dive in. This is the working mom happiness method podcast.
Okay, welcome to the working mom happiness method podcast. This is episode seven. And I am so excited because this is a really special episode. This is my first time ever doing an interview on the podcast. So messy action here full disclosure, I have Rachel on with us. And Rachel took the working mom happiness method, the full program in early 2021. And so she has been so kind to come on and talk about her experience in the program. So So today, just to be clear, we are pausing. We've been working on the actual program through episodes one through seven. Now we're going to pause for this interview with Rachel, which I'm so excited about. And then we'll pick back up after this. And occasionally I will do interviews throughout interviews with women who've taken the program and then interviews where we do a little bit more sort of coaching with working moms, that kind of thing. But this is the first time so I'm really excited. I know Rachel is really excited. And Rachel, thank you so much for being here. And our purpose for this episode is so you can learn a little bit more about the working mom happiness method, the benefits that come out of it. But also what Rachel and I are hoping is to just give you a little bit of insight as to how she accomplished because she had some awesome accomplishments that she's going to talk about with you, but give you a little bit more information on how she accomplished these things as part of the working mom happiness method, that hopefully those might be able to help you as well in your journey. So Rachel, I'm going to turn it over to you. Why don't you just just introduce yourself and tell us a little bit more about you.
Rachel
Okay, yeah. And so excited. Thank you for having me. And I got goosebumps just listening to you talk about it, and remembering all my fun stuff. So my name is Rachel, I am a mom of two kids who are human children. And I have one dog child. So she's my favorite child. And everyone knows that it's known around the house that she's my, she's my favorite one. But my boys are eight and 10. I've been married to my husband for 11 years. And we are just busy. I have full time work. I've recently graduated with my bachelor's degrees. So full time student, you know, having the kids at home during the pandemic was definitely interesting. And I work as a program manager for a company that sells gift cards. I work in the E commerce division, so doing websites online, so it's pretty fast paced, super busy. And just great. Great now.
Katy
Awesome. I love it. And I feel like you are just fit right into like that perfect mold of working mom, you know, very committed to your job very much full time demanding job, all of the things so you were and are still juggling all of the life things right trying to juggle, how to spend time with the family, how to spend time with the husband, the household things with of course the job. So that totally makes sense. Okay, so tell us a little bit about some of the things that you were struggling with before you started the program. So just kind of what what were your biggest focus areas coming in? Are your pain points coming into starting the working mom happiness method?
Rachel
Yeah, definitely. And I think that this is the thing that is so interesting to me about your program. and how it works is I came to you for something very specific. So I was diagnosed with a liver disease at the end of 2019, I believe, and no 2020. And so I needed to change my diet, I was severely overweight, and I just had really, really bad habits, really bad relationship with food. And I had been following you for quite some time on social media. And you had talked about in one specific day, you had talked about how you had worked with a therapist, to work through some of your issues with food. And I just reached out to you that day being like, I need that therapist name, right. And so instead of, you know, just giving me the name and moving on with my life, you started talking to me about this program, and like, everything that you're doing, and immediately I was hooked, you know, so when I first came in, I really just wanted a phone number. But then it turned out that like, as I started talking, and going through all these things, that it wasn't just this tiny space, it was so many things. So I, you know, developing healthy habits was definitely my whole reason for for contacting you and starting this. But I got help with setting boundaries with having boundaries with my family, with my work with my extended family. And I got help with communication, just speaking to my husband in a way that makes us work as a team, I got help with mom guilt, like all these things I didn't even know that I really was struggling with you know, that were the thing that pointed to the unhealthy habits with food, the unhealthy relationship with food. So it was great that I uncovered all of that stuff when I mean, I really didn't even think I needed help in that area, you know. So
Katy
it is it's so amazing. And I can remember, when you came to me that day, we talked about that we talked about how our relationship with food is actually impacted by everything in our life. Right, I remember we kind of went there right in that first, just little informal call that we had to kind of talk through some of this stuff. And it is interesting, the trickle effect that it has out into our whole lives. And one thing I do want to make clear, for anyone who's listening is that I'm obviously not a doctor, and I'm not a therapist, and Rachel was working with actual medical doctors as well. So this was more of like the life coaching component of her journey. And she absolutely had medical doctor, so I wasn't advising her on anything medical, we were working on mindset, right mindset, absolutely, and strategy, life strategy, how to fit these things in, and all of that good stuff. So I just want I do like to clarify that I'm not a doctor or medical professional or a therapist, this is more just mindset and strategy tools that that we worked on. But those can be game changers. So okay, so you touched on. So your biggest reason was this health issue that you had going on, and you came in wanting to improve your relationship with food. So you touched on a few of the other benefits that you know, you mentioned that you got as you went through the program. Let's talk about if it's okay with you kind of each one of those in a little bit more detail. So the reason that you said you started was to improve your healthy habits improve your relationship with food? So would you mind just sharing a little bit more detail there of maybe what what are some of the tools that you use that could help somebody listening now and what what sort of result? Did you see from those tools? That'd be helpful in that area?
Rachel
Yeah, for sure. So like everyone, I mean, I grew up in diet culture, right. So I had this also very unhealthy image of what I should look like and what I should be. And I actually was very happy with myself being the weight that I was, and being of a big person. I I enjoyed it. So I didn't think I had any problems with that area, right. But it was affecting my health. So I the biggest thing for me that was so helpful was to stop worrying about how much I weigh. It was learning how to teach myself how to eat, to take a journal and write down the way that I feel after I eat everything. And just asked myself like, is this worth it? You know, like, was that? Was that Chinese food worth it? Sometimes the answer is yes, absolutely. And being okay with that, I think was the biggest learning for me. There was a book that you had recommended, called intuitive eating and that book, I swear just opened my eyes to just something that I had never heard of ever I mean, and I don't know if maybe I was living under a rock or
Katy
no. I think a lot of people I, I think more and more people are starting to hear about it. But what's tricky is, they're almost hearing about it. Within diet culture, like it's almost like intuitive eating like a diet, right? Which is not the way we want to think about it. But that most people haven't thought about it as improving your relationship with food and learning your body's cues and all the things that we worked on together. So no, I don't think you were living under a rock at all.
Rachel
I'm just implementing the tiniest things. Like I remember the first thing I implemented and I was so scared to do it, right? Because one of the things that you said is, you know, don't restrict yourself. So if you really love like, I love these Charleston shoe, little BB balls are so delicious. And I have that bag in my house. I will eat the whole thing. And it doesn't matter what I'm doing, I will figure out a way to eat it. So your advice was just buy them. And I was like, You're crazy. Because no, I'm going to eat them. Like, I can't eat that food. Right? And, like, no, no, buy them and just see what happens. Like, let yourself have some sit at the table, you know, set rules around when you can eat them. And when you can't, you know, and I was really, really nervous. But it helped me so much. Like I loved the fact like the day that I was like, I don't want me
Katy
was it's amazing, right? Yeah, it's a new thing. It's so freeing. Yeah. And
Rachel
I was like, who am I? Where is this person? So yeah, yeah, so that was a big thing.
Katy
I love that so much.
Rachel
Yeah. And then also just focusing on my health, I think that that was a big thing that I was really missing and thinking of losing weight as just like a side effect of what I'm doing. And because of the program, when I went to my last appointment about my liver, which was in August, I have the same numbers as someone with a healthy liver, just by changing the way that I eat and having the side effect of losing 60 pounds. I mean, it's it was it's just been crazy. It's been a crazy journey. And it's been amazing.
Katy
I still get goosebumps when you say that I literally just did goosebump moments. I remember you sharing that with me when it happened. And it was just it's incredible when we let go of diet culture and restriction and the guilt and shame cycle that goes along with that. And we just, I want to say just because I don't want to simplify it, it's very difficult. It's easier said than done. But when we when we shift over to focusing on those healthy habits, and not the weight related to that or not related to that, it's just becomes a game changer. But it's not easy, right? It's not it's not an easy thing to do. But we can do it. We can do hard things for sure.
Rachel
Yeah, for sure. And it is very scary. And I get that. I mean, it's it's not. I think also you have to be in like the mindset where you're like, I'm here for this. I'm going to just try it and like, it doesn't matter what happens. Like I'm already at rock bottom. I can't get any worse from here. So let's just see what happens. You know, and that probably was a scariest part.
Katy
Yeah, I, I think that is so true. And and here's what I think is interesting about rock bottom, right? Because I've been there as well. And I know, a lot of us probably a lot of people listening probably feel like, well, maybe I'm not at rock bottom, or I haven't been at rock bottom. But I bet Rachel that what you're calling rock bottom, I bet people in your life maybe wouldn't even have known like your co workers. Right? You are highly functioning in your rock bottom, right? Oh, yeah. Yeah. And so I think a lot of us think that in order to be at rock bottom and take these things seriously, and work on our lives, we have to be like in bed all day, not functioning, right. And that's just not what it looks like, we are worth taking care of ourselves. You know, rock bottom doesn't feel as hard as we always make it out to be in our minds. And so rock bottom can also be like daily, busy working mom rut as well as well. I know, I know yours. Yours had the health component to it as well. It was really tough. But you so I find that interesting as well. So okay, that is super helpful about the Healthy Habits now. Talk to us a little bit about what happened with your job as you went through the program because this gives me goosebumps too. So I'm excited for you to share some of that stuff.
Rachel
Yeah, so like I said in the beginning, as I started like working on the health piece of this, I uncovered all just so many things like I could probably talk about this for hours, but I found out that I was being paid significantly less than two people on my team to other people. And I just had been told for years and years that they were going to fix it and that it was going to be you know, it was something that they were working on and I trusted them I did I mean, I had no reason to not write I wanted to. And then when I found out the exact amount of how significantly, I was being paid less, I just was like, That's it, I'm done. Like, I'm not, I'm not waiting around for this anymore. Like, I deserve better than this, you know. And so I decided to use my communication skills that I had learned. I set up a meeting, and I talked to my upper leadership, and it was so incredibly scary, you know, in my company, kind of the thing to do, if you want to raise is to threaten that you're going to quit. And to me, that's just not who I am. It's not, I would never threaten something I'm not going to do right. And at the time, when this was going on, I was the sole breadwinner for our family, and I was just not going to quit. So also, I mean, it's just part of my integrity, I don't want to do that I don't want to go that way. I feel like I'm a grown up, we can talk about these things. So I had a whole plan. I went in, I talked to him. And basically they said, Well, we can talk about it again in six months. And I just said, No, I want to do something now, you know, I was very brave and stood up for myself, which is the one thing that I'm very proud of, because it's not something I would have done, you know, in the past. Yeah. And so then I said, Well, what are my options, you know, for now, and they gave me a few. And one of them was I could become a leader. And one of them was I could look for something else inside the company. So I did both of those things. I went and I had a meeting where I was, you know, what does this look like? What does being a leader look like? How do I get there? Well, the person who was working with it was a 12 month plan for me to become a leader. And that also just was not fitting in with my life. So I just found a new job. I, I talked to someone else inside the company, who I had been working with. And they were it was it was two people, they were both just like, come work for us come work on our team. And I was like, You're crazy. Like, I can't do that job, I have no idea how to do that job. You know, and, and both of them are like, I that's not a concern to me, I know that I can teach you like we've you know, you have these skills that are very moldable in this position. And we just really want you to come and work for us. And I was like you guys know, like, this is so far above my qualifications, like I'm gonna fail, you know. And that's, that is honestly, my biggest fear is to fail or to let someone down really. And I had built a rapport with them that I really wanted to keep. And I had worked really hard on that relationship. And so I just thought, I'm not messing this up for any kind of money, right? Or any anything. And they both were just very convincing and offered me the job. And I took it. And when I called in to tell my boss that I accepted the position, she told me that they were able to work some magic and they were going to go ahead and give me the raise that I had asked for. And I just I just said no, I, I really just stuck to what I said I was like I just want to like Oh, I know and that. I mean, honestly, that was something so out of my ordinary like I had already been waiting for this for what three years. And they hadn't done anything. And I think that they just thought I would continue to wait. And this was not the year I was doing that. So
Katy
yeah. Incredible nother goosebump moments. So and this new job was it was a promotion was a significant pay increase. Yes, it was right. Yeah, based on what you were making before. And I love this for so many reasons. But a huge part of what we focus on in the working mom happiness method is knowing your value, knowing your worth having your boundaries, your non negotiables and being ready to stand up for those and to communicate them, of course in a respectful way, which Rachel did. In fact, she and I talked through kind of some of the talking points she was going to take in there as well as part of the program. And it was just fabulous. We have a whole career development aspect of the program where we talk about some of this stuff, but but the thing is we in our minds, we tend to try to separate our career and our personal life. But the reality is what was going on here for Rachel and I believe this is how it is for all of us. When we work on our value and our worth and our healthy habits in our personal life. It actually starts to have an effect on our professional life because they are one life. And so Rachel was building this momentum and gaining this confidence as she was working on some of the things she's already described. And she took that right into the work place and what happens in the workplace when you come with an energy like that when you come with a professional, not a victim, she was not a victim, she did not come in with a victim mindset. She came in standing in her own power and knowing her worth and had a very professional conversation with her leadership. And what does it do that energy actually creates opportunities that we didn't even know were there, it created this whole other opportunity for her with these people who saw her worth and saw her value. And that in turn related in the old team, I think they the old team saw her worth and they saw your value, right? They just didn't realize how serious you were about kind of standing up for yourself in this way. And that the the knock on impacts that happened, we don't even know like, like the door that opened for you. You didn't even know that was a possibility. In fact, you had like this massive imposter syndrome that you and I worked through at the time, I can remember when when they even offered you this this new role because it was it was above your, well, it was a different level. It was a different level. But you were ready. And now you're doing it right. You're doing it and you're rocking it and it's it's amazing.
Rachel
Well, I'm healing it.
Katy
Oh, come on. You're rockin I,
Rachel
I will say I will rock it. But right now it was just you know, you're learning in the learning stages. Yeah. Which is heartbreaking, right? Because I don't want to let anyone down. I said that. But definitely. And I think that the biggest thing that was so helpful to me in that aspect was to definitely have, you know, points written down of why I was worth more than this and why I deserved more than this. And they weren't, you know how, like, when you write a resume, and you're, like, feel so braggy. And it's really weird and uncomfortable. It wasn't like that. It was like, your are all of my stats that I have done. And these are the things that I've done. And this is where you are because of me. And you know, it was just it was so great to just wait all of that out and then just be like, would you and I even said I said these exact words, would you do this job for this amount of pay? Like, would you? And, you know, the answer was clear to me. And even though they didn't respond, but they wouldn't have you know? Yeah. And I remember that you had also given me the advice to write down on just a little small piece of paper, like what I wanted out of the meeting, what number? What number what number? Yeah, yeah, and what I think I even wrote, like the job title on there, too, or something like that. That was, and as I was talking to them, where I could feel myself starting to back down. I just looked at that. And I was like, no, like, that little piece of paper gave me so much power, because it was like, This is what I'm worth. This is this is who I am, you know,
Katy
amazing. Yeah, amazing, amazing. And for those of you listening, actually have a blog post on the website. So women's best life university.com And go to the blog, you can see it's one of the tabs. There's a blog post on 10 tips on how to ask for a raise. And I actually have some of those tips in there. And one of them is writing down what you want. And looking at it putting that energy into it because it can it can boost your confidence in that moment of doubt. And I love that example, Rachel, that it did that for you. I think that's incredible. So I love that so much. So yeah, so thanks for sharing that. That's just, it's amazing. And then I'm wondering if you would share a little bit with us about because you mentioned in the beginning of this podcast, how to communicate a little in some different ways with your husband, you tried some new ways of communication. So talk to us a little bit about that. And what was kind of what did you do? And what was the result of that?
Rachel
Yeah, and this is probably the best part because I didn't even realize like, I needed this, you know, but my husband was a stay at home parent forever. He took care of our kids, which I'm not I mean, hardest job ever. I've had to start doing it now. And I like it's hard. Yeah. Um, so I didn't really ask Him for anything. I just took care of everything, because he's taking care of the kids. And that's hard. And they're the end, like I just never, you know, batted an eye of every single thing that I was taking care of that was just like, hindering in are just pushing me down, pushing me down. And so I started talking to you, and we started talking about relationships and how we should work as a team and just, and I just really started thinking like, this has to change, you know, I can't keep doing all of this, right? Like, I can't be so good in these other areas of my life and then still be taking on all of this stuff. So yeah, it was this was probably really hard to because, you know, one of the things that you say is that, like we've made them comfortable with doing this, you know, and we've trained them I did have him trained very well to just sit back and enjoy his life for sure. So it was hard. It was a lot of growing. When I started talking to him, though, in the way that it talks about in the program, you know, where I'm, I'm making him feel like he's helping me. And I'm boosting up his ego and things like that. There were just very simple, very subtle things that I could do. They made the biggest changes. So I think, let me explain just a little bit more about this. Sorry, I, nitrogen is the kind of guy who will help. But I have to tell him every single thing to do. So it's not even like I can, I'm saying he's cooking dinner, because I've still told him what to get out and what temperature to put it on and how to see, isn't it you know, like just every little thing. And so explaining that to him was kind of really hard, like, yes, you're helping me, but I'm still doing everything. It's just not my hands that are doing it, you know. And we worked on it for weeks and weeks and weeks. And then finally, one day, he just came downstairs and was like, alright, it's Sunday. It's grocery shopping day, I want to get this to meet for dinner. And I was just like, I think I'm in the wrong house, you know? So it was so bizarre to me. Because, I mean, we worked on it, but it wasn't like we were fighting on it. You know, like in my mind, the way that you work out problems with your spouse is you fight about them, and then you make up and then everything's better. Right? So
Katy
I think a lot of people can relate to that. Absolutely. Yeah.
Rachel
And so just talking about it, and like being like, this is what I need from you and clearly stating like what I want him to do and starting off small and moving into bigger, bigger things and you know, not pulling the victim card in that either, right? Like where it's like, I'm doing so much stuff, you know, and that just gets you nowhere, like, it just creates resentment, I feel like so, you know, we just had actual, like, very healthy conversations between each other, stated what both of us needed. And then like, the pumping up of His ego was so fun, too. Because, I mean, who doesn't like to be treated like that, right? Like I just I really enjoyed, like telling him how great he was for helping me and how much time he had saved me. And I know it sounds cheesy, but it so helped us so much. And you know, he started a new job this year. He got he's a he's a teacher now. And so we've had a big shift in our house where now where he was the parent, I'm the parent where I was like, the fun lady who just came around every once in a while now I'm the one doing all the thing is taking care of all of the things of the kids. But our our plan hasn't faltered, you know, so it's very, it's very strong, where it's like, I get that you're learning something new. And I get that this is hard for you. And I can take on a little bit more while you're doing that, you know, but it's just it's a it's a conversation that we constantly have. And we haven't yet like reverted back to the space where I'm the only one doing any single thing around the house, you know, so it's been really great. It's been just, I don't know, it just happened so easily. It was just shocking, you know, being able to just talk that way to each other.
Katy
Hi, please pardon my interruption, but I have a very important announcement that I'm so excited to share. The next round of the working mom happiness method group coaching program is officially open for enrollment. It's February 2022. Right now, the next round kicks off on March 2 of 2022. And I would love to have you join us. If you've been feeling overwhelmed or exhausted, struggling to maintain healthy habits, working on creating balance in your life between work and your home and your relationship and your kids and self care. All of those things. That's exactly what we learn. Go Create Your Best Life master plan document within the program with a group of women who are all struggling with the same things. We do it together in this amazing community and it will truly change your life. We've had women who've achieved goals during the program that they've put off for years had women improve their relationships. I've had at least one lady in every single round get a promotion immediately following the program. So literally life changing. If you want more information, all the details are at my website women's best life university.com The link for the specific info on the working mom hat Happiness method group program is right here in the shownotes. So scroll down, you can click it or you can go to my website, women's best life University, click on courses, find the working mom happiness method, you'll see all the details, the price when we meet, and then you can click to enroll. And that enrollment form is basically just an intro questionnaire to make sure that it's the right fit for you before you officially enroll. So go ahead and fill that out. There are only 10 spots available. So don't wait, click on the link. Now I would love to have you You are worth investing in yourself to change your life. You're worth it, and it will change your life. Okay, back to your regularly scheduled podcast. Thanks for listening. So I love this so much for all the reasons which is what I've said on everything so far. But let me let's just go into this a little bit. Because you truly like this is what creating balances, right? I don't really love the term find balance, because we all have the same 24 hours in a day, right? We just you're not going to like magically find extra hours in your day. And we know and you you learned this in the program too, right? Like cutting back on your sleep is not one of the options, right? So so you what you did, you did this in more than one way but but this specific where you're talking about here, asking for help from your husband, helps us to create more balance, that is a way to actually create more time for ourselves or our job or you know, whatever, wherever you need more of the time, is to ask for help. And I love your specific example of it. Because as you said, you didn't even know it was something you needed when you came in. And that leads me to believe you had a good marriage, you had a decent marriage. I know it was a marriage that you had worked on, but like you weren't in a bad place. And so this is I think so many women, moms, working moms, anyone can relate to this, where we just naturally take on all the things we just do, because we've learned growing up society has taught us or in some cases, our parents have taught us that our value and our worth is based on serving all those around us taking care of us and a lot of us watched our moms do that for our dads, okay. And I know this is stereotyping, but it just is a reality for a lot of us, maybe not all of us, but for a lot of us. And so we just automatically take on that role. And we start doing all the things and I and I do realize that your husband was he was watching the kids, which was great. And he was willing to help. But it's like, we don't even realize how much we're doing until we really start to understand that our value and our worth has nothing to do with doing everything for our husband, like doing all the things around the house. And so I love that you identified it. And then you started communicating him in a way that we learned in the program, which it can sound cheesy, and honestly, it can really sound anti feminist. And it's really not like it's really not because what you're doing is standing in your own power and asking for what you need. And that is very much supporting women. But in order to do it with most men, I do think some of the younger generations that are coming up maybe won't necessarily be this way. But for if you're like a millennial or older, which probably covers most of the people listening for most men worse, we're speaking to them in the wrong ways when we're asking them to do things and and that you were kind of saying, like, pump up their ego and it's true. And that's that's kind of does sound cheesy. And for a lot of us it sounds like infuriating, right? Like I will, which I get that's what I thought when I first learned this communication technique as well. I was like, Oh, that's so yeah.
But really what it is, it's not as cheesy as it sounds, it's really just showing them appreciation. Like it's really just instead of criticizing what they've done, appreciating what they've done. And that really does lead to them doing more and it's kind of magic, it takes some time. But it's it's kind of magic. And that's why it is I believe it's rooted in more feminist views and taking care of ourselves, which is amazing. And Rachel, you did that so beautifully. I loved every when we would talk I love when you would come and tell me like the progress in this area. Like it's working. And it worked for me too in my relationship as well. It's, it's really interesting. It is
Rachel
and you know, like I just want to touch on something that you said is that I literally did not feel like I should have to ask him to do anything for me. Like that's his house to like he can look around and he can see that things need to be done. But as I was talking to you and talking to him and and trying to just like figure out how I felt about all of this. He literally said like my brain just doesn't work that way it doesn't I don't know how to look around and see that things need to be done. And then I was like, what kind of cop out is this? Like you can look around and see that there's dishes that need to be done that the garbage needs to be taken out like you're not blind and he's like, you know, but yeah, but I'm like I'm I'm one you know, trained focused on doing this, like those things don't bother me the way they bother you. And I think that was really eye opening too, because we were talking about that in the program, like how men's brains just work differently than women's. And when I thought about it, and I'm like, Okay, I'm just going to drop a little bit of my pride, right? And just ask him for help. Yeah, and just ask it in a way that's not demeaning to him, or demeaning to me, right. Like, I'm, I just, I need this, and I'm just gonna do it. And I don't know, it just happened so fast. It was magic. I literally felt like I that a wand had been waived. And now we were just like, living in this better life like, and like you said, like, we did not have a terrible marriage. We are best friends. We've been together since we were sophomores in high school. I mean, we just were stuck together, you know, and I just didn't know that it could be better, right? Like, I grew up with a single mom. So I didn't even see her. Taking care of anyone else. I was taking care of my sisters. I just figured, like, that's the role that you know, that I'm into. And I'm going to just can't take care of my husband. And I just love that I don't anymore, right. It's just so nice. It's so nice.
Katy
It really is. It's a game changer. And it's it and going back to the brain things and how they work differently. I have posted about this on social media and I have had people flip out on like, I've literally had people being like, no, that's not true men's brains aren't that different from women's brains. And, and the reality is biologically that is correct. That is true. Our brains function the same men and women, there are some some some differences. But this is nurture, not nature, right? Yeah. And that's why I said that. For some of the younger generations, like hopefully this will change. And maybe this whole technique will change in the future as some of the younger generations come up. But if you are a millennial or older, the way that you're the man who you if you live with a man, the way that you're the man you live with was raised is very different than the way you were raised just because of how society is. And so they really don't see the things that we see a lot of times or they don't care, so they don't see them, right. So and that is a difference. That's a difference in the way their brains are sort of Wired neuro pathways versus nature or nurture, not nature. So I want to point that out in case somebody is thinking that's not true. Their brains work the same way. But yeah, but they're, they're raised differently. And that actually does create different neural pathways in the brains. And so just wanting to call that out. But yeah, I love how well that went for you. And I love that it's still going strong. And now you're in this sort of new phase where you're both working, and you have to figure out that partnership and that way and, and use the communication in that way, which is awesome.
Rachel
Well, and Katie, I'm telling you, had we not had I not done this program, had we not started working on this, we would be divorced, because this has been so incredibly hard on us to live this new dynamic, and it's not. I just I feel like I would have just given up because it's so incredibly hard. But you know, I know how to talk to him. And I know that talking to him doesn't equal fighting, you know, and I love that tools.
Katy
You have the tools to get through this. That's amazing Rachel, like that. I mean, that it really, really is. I'm so glad that that makes me so happy. Because that's my whole goal with this is well, my whole goal isn't keeping people from divorcing. Like, my whole goal with this is, is these techniques that I teach in the method changed my life, they legitimately led me to living my best life, and one that happened for me. And in the end, they also that included saving my marriage as well. And my husband worked hard, and I worked hard, both of us but like, these tools saved my marriage as well. And that's just why I want to share them with the world. Because when when we as women live our best lives, it makes the world a better place. I know that's like cheese ball, but it just is actual reality, like it is we can't argue with that. So So you're the best, like thank you so much for, for just being so open and being willing to share and for being so engaged in the program. And still, it's amazing. You're so you're inspiring to me, which is awesome. Oh, um, the the last thing I would love to just ask you is do you have any advice for other working moms are out there or even just other women because I always said all moms do work, all women do work. So it doesn't even have to be traditional what we consider working moms, but any advice for women who are just overwhelmed and struggling and maybe exhausted and stick and struggling with healthy habits, kind of all those things that you would kind of end with and I know you've provided a lot of advice as we've gone through, but anything that you would kind of end with,
Rachel
I think like to sum it up, and this program has been life changing. I mean, it really has and I've been able to I keep up with what I learned for almost an entire year. No, I think that's great, too, right? Like, it's something that I learned that it's now just second nature. It's not something I have to think about. It's, but I will say, it wasn't always like that there were a lot of things that I questioned because it was new to me. And it was scary. And that's really the honest truth is, it was scary, it was scary to think about those things, it was scary to not have my crutch of my comfort zone, it was scary to, you know, deal with the consequences of speaking up and standing in my power. And, and I and I get that and I think I would just say, Just do it, like trust the process. Trust, being scared, being scared is not always bad, right? Like, it's just, it's just something different. But it's okay to have things be scary and don't give up. Because you honestly, like, you deserve to have an easier, better life than what you have. Now, if you don't love it. I mean, what's the point? Right, so I think too, like, if you think about breaking any cycle, it is very difficult. There are you know, there's there's all kinds of different cycles, but I would, the one that has, you know pertained to me the most is breaking the cycle of using food in an unhealthy way. And when you're breaking any cycle there are it's incredibly difficult. There's a lot of people who, who want you to stay the same, right, like you're in this little cog, and you're part of this wheel. And you either have friends who are, you know, or family even who just expect you to fit into that, that mold in that way that it goes and then you're going to take a little chink out of the chain, you know, you're going to mix it up a little bit. And it's very hard. And it's so much easier to just go back to doing things the way that you have been. But it's not worth it. It's not it's it's worth it to work through those things. And then when you come out on the other side, you know what, what people are there for you, you know, where you're going to land, you know, the people that are going to catch you. And you just have everything is just so much better. You know, you've kind of weeded out the things that you don't need, and you have people around you who are supportive and loving and who want to see you succeed as well. And that's just incredibly amazing. And that's also something I never thought I needed. Or that I guess, maybe I didn't think I didn't have it. I thought I had that, you know, and it turns out that that I did in a way. But now what I have is just so much stronger, and better and healthier. So be brave, you can do it.
Katy
That was so incredibly and beautifully said, and I just can't thank you enough, again, for sharing today. And being willing, I really think that your story is going to inspire so many others. So thank you for that. And thank you so much for being here. And I'm wishing you all the luck moving forward in this new chapter where you're figuring out, you know, both of you working new job, right, you have a lot of like news in your life. So excited and wishing you all the luck.
Rachel
Well, thank you so much. And thank you again, for every everything that you did for being there for me for you know, encouraging me to try things that I thought were silly. I just I I really can't thank you enough. This program has just been so invaluable to me. And I just am really happy with the way that it turned out. I talk about it all the time. And I just I want you to keep doing what you're doing because you're helping people and it's just amazing. It's in more ways than I think you even know. So you're amazing. You're incredible. Thank you so much.
Katy
Oh, you're so welcome. And thank you that makes me feel so good. So thank you. As always, thank you so much for listening. I am so excited about using these, this method and what I teach here to hopefully change the world. So if you benefited from this, please go leave a review on the podcast. It helps more people see it the more reviews I get the more subscriptions and follows on the podcast will help more people see it. And if you know anyone in your life who might benefit please spread the word and have them come and listen. Okay, thank you so much and I'll talk to you in the next episode thanks so much for listening to the working mom happiness method. If you liked what you heard, please be sure to subscribe, leave a review and share it with others who might benefit from listening for show notes or to enroll. In the working mom happiness method coaching courses, visit www dot women's best life university.com
